Tips for College and University Students: Managing Your Distress in the Aftermath of a Tragic Event
As a university student, you may be struggling to understand how a tragic event could take place on a university campus and why such a thing would happen. There may never be satisfactory answers to these questions.
We do know, though, that it is typical for people to experience a variety of emotions following such a traumatic event. These feelings can include shock, sorrow, numbness, fear, anger, disillusionment, grief, and others. You may find that you have trouble sleeping, concentrating, eating or remembering even simple tasks. This is common and should pass after a while.
Over time, the caring support of family and friends can help to lessen the emotional impact and ultimately make the changes brought about by the tragedy more manageable. You may feel that the world is a more dangerous place today than you did yesterday. It will take some time to recover your sense of equilibrium.
Meanwhile, you may wonder how to go on living your daily life. You can strengthen your resilience—the ability to adapt well in the face of adversity—in the days and weeks ahead.
Here are some tips:
- Talk about it—Ask for support from people who care about you and who will listen to your concerns. Receiving support and care can be comforting and reassuring. Counseling services are available at Old Dominion University through the Office of Counseling Services. It often helps to speak with others who have shared your experience so that you do not feel so different or alone.
- Strive for balance—When tragedy occurs, it’s easy to become overwhelmed and have a negative or pessimistic outlook. Balance that viewpoint by reminding yourself of people and events that are meaningful and comforting, even encouraging. Striving for balance empowers you and allows you to have a healthier perspective on yourself and the world around you.
- Turn it off and take a break—You may want to keep informed but try to limit the amount of news you take in, whether it’s from the Internet, television, newspapers or magazines. While getting the news informs you, being overexposed to it can actually increase your stress. Also, schedule some breaks to distract yourself from thinking about the incident and focus instead on something you enjoy. Try to do something that will lift your spirits.
- Honor your feelings— Remember that it is common to have a range of emotions after a traumatic incident. Go a little easy on yourself and on your friends. You may experience intense stress similar to the effects of a physical injury. For example, you may feel exhausted, sore or off-balance.
- Take care of yourself—Engage in healthy behaviors to enhance your ability to cope with excessive stress. Eat well-balanced meals, get plenty of rest and build physical activity into your day. Avoid alcohol and drugs, because they can suppress your feelings rather than help you to manage and lessen your distress. In addition, alcohol and drugs may intensify your emotional or physical pain. Establish or re-establish routines such as eating meals at regular times and following an exercise program. If you are having trouble sleeping, try some relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga. Wellness Toolkit | Old Dominion University
- If you have recently lost friends in this or other tragedies—Remember that grief is a long process. Give yourself time to experience your feelings and to recover. Dealing with the shock and trauma of such an event will take time. It is typical to expect many ups and downs, including “survivor guilt”—feeling bad that you escaped the tragedy while others did not.
For many people, using the tips and strategies mentioned above may be sufficient to get through the current crisis. At times, however, an individual can get stuck or have difficulty managing intense reactions. A licensed mental health professional can assist you in developing an appropriate strategy for moving forward.
The Office of Counseling Services offers SAME DAY/NEXT DAY appointments with self-scheduling through the Monarch Portal. Download the TalkCampus app to connect with peer support 24/7.
Recovering from such a tragic event may seem difficult to imagine. Persevere and trust in your ability to get through the challenging days ahead. Taking the steps in this guide can help you cope at this very difficult time.
Adapted from Ohio State University Counseling and Consultation Service
Aftermath of Tragic Event on Campus: What Family Members Can Do
As a parent, one of your most important concerns is the safety and well-being of your child. When a horrific act of violence happens, such as the recent event on our campus, you may be wondering how you can help. College students will react differently. Some will seem to come through the experience unscathed. Later, some may begin to have delayed reactions. Others will react strongly from the start, even though they have suffered little loss or any sense of threat. However, most students have normal and typical reactions to these abnormal circumstances.
You can help your student by…
- Listening
It may be painful, but the best thing you can do for your student is to listen to them talk about the tragic event. Talking and journaling are healthy and natural ways for young adults to work through their reactions.
- Comforting
Feel free to hold and comfort your student more during this time. They are reaching out to you for security right now, and a little extra love and affection won’t spoil them.
- Reassuring
You can also reassure your student that they are now safe. Remind them that you and university staff members are taking precautions to protect them.
- Not being over-protective
This may be the most difficult for you to do, but you must fight the temptation to over-protect your child. It may be very hard even to let them out of your sight, but it’s important that they return to a regular routine as soon as possible.
- Being a good example
Actions speak louder than words, and, by your actions, you can set an example for your student on how to handle these reactions in a productive way.
- Encouraging students to help
You may encourage your student to offer help to others. For example, they may want to volunteer their time to coordinate an event to raise awareness. They can receive more information on how to help by contacting the VIP (Volunteers Inspiring Purpose) Initiative which is managed by our Women’s & Gender Equity Center.
- Seeking help if your student is suffering severe problems.
If your student has had serious losses, such as the death of a loved one, they may need more help. Encourage your student to see a professional if they are having extreme reactions to the tragic event, such as repeated nightmares, flashbacks, crying spells, behavior problems and panic reactions.
If needed, the Clinical Case Manager can directly assist your student with referral to an appropriate provider in the community. This can be done by contacting the Office of Counseling Services at 757-683-4401 and requesting to schedule an appointment with the Clinical Case Manager.
Adapted from Ohio State University Counseling and Consultation Service
Additional Resources
Mondays 4-5 p.m.
Open Studio- Art Therapy: OCS Conference Room
Where you are encouraged to connect with yourself and work through problems using creative expression.
Mondays 5-6 p.m.
Haven- LGBTQ+: OCS Group Room
Safe, supportive space focused on the mental health needs of LGBTQ+ Community. All LGBTQ+ students (including those who are questioning) are welcome to join.
Tuesdays 4-5 p.m.
Refuge- Men ’ s Support: OCS Group Room
A safe space for men to process life challenges, develop emotional awareness, and grow in a community with other men navigating college life.
Wednesdays 12-1 p.m.
Stress Relief: OCS Group Room
A supportive place where you can discuss the stress in your life and identify coping strategies to reduce that stress.
If you don’t think you need to talk to a professional — or until you are able to — here are some things that may help:
- Give Yourself Time to Feel and Process Your Emotions
You may feel angry, sad, guilty, have difficulty concentrating, or have flashbacks of previous trauma you’ve experienced. Or your emotions may be unpredictable. All these reactions — and others — are valid. Let yourself feel what you’re feeling, and don’t judge yourself for it. - Take Care of the Basics
Sticking to a routine can help you feel a sense of normalcy during stressful events. Two important ways to achieve this are maintaining regular eating habits and getting adequate sleep. - Let Go of Unnecessary To-Dos
Lower your expectations of what you can manage and get done right now. It’s OK if your study or work routines need to change so you have time to rest and process what’s going on and your reaction to it. - Add More Self-Care When You’re Ready
When feasible, gradually reintroduce self-care practices such as physical activity and social engagement. They can help you start to feel grounded again. - Do Things to Create Calm and Peacefulness
Trauma can increase levels of stress and anxiety, but pausing, taking a breath or a beat, and finding ways to create calm can help us cope with stressful situations. - Practice Compassion for Yourself and Others
- Be gentle and respectful of others’ emotions and reactions even if you don’t understand them.
- Do not judge yourself for how you are feeling or reacting.
- Participate in things that bring you happiness, pleasure, and a sense of normalcy. - Find a Sounding Board and Support System
It’s important to lean on friends and family to talk about what happened, what’s happening, or just to be there together when life feels hard. Often, the simple act of telling someone how we feel can support healing in powerful ways. - Find a Way to Take Action
Find opportunities to volunteer to support others in ways that feel meaningful, such as providing food, supplies, or transportation. You can also connect with advocacy or support organizations in your area to find ways to take more action together. - ** RECOGNIZE when trauma requires professional help **
While the above tips can work for some people and some traumatic events, sometimes trauma is so acute or so profound that coping in any traditional sense is not likely without professional help.
Trauma can leave lasting negative effects on our functional, mental, physical, social, emotional, or spiritual well-being. A mental health professional can help to determine what kind of treatment may be the most helpful for you.
If you’re experiencing any of the following, we encourage you to make an appointment with a mental health professional. Persistent problems with:
- Trouble functioning at home, in school or at work
- Difficulty maintaining relationships
- Trouble concentrating
- Experiencing nightmares or flashbacks
- Poor sleep and eating habits
- Increased substance use
If you or someone you love needs help right now:
- Call 9-1-1
or - ODU Police Department at 757-683-4000.
If you are an ODU student who needs support right now:
- Please call 757-683-4401 and press option 2 to be connected with a crisis counselor 24/7/365 days per year.
- Text or call 988 or use the chat function at 988lifeline.org.
Resources
- ODU Resource page
- The Office of Counseling Services Same day/next day appointments: Office of Counseling Services | Old Dominion University; 757-683-4401
- Community resources for faculty/staff/students
- Text HOME to 741-741 for a free, confidential conversation with a trained counselor any time of day.
- Peer support chat: TalkCampus
Source: JED Foundation
Quick Grounding Exercises
- 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding
Use your senses to reconnect to the present:
- 5 things you can see
- 4 things you can feel
- 3 things you can hear
- 2 things you can smell
- 1 thing you can taste
- Box Breathing (4-4-4-4) or Color Breathing
- Inhale for 4 seconds
- Hold for 4 seconds
- Exhale for 4 seconds
- Hold for 4 seconds
Repeat for 4–6 cycles to reduce stress and regulate breathing.
- Feet on the Floor
- Sit upright and place both feet firmly on the ground
- Press your feet gently into the floor
- Notice the support of the chair and your body
- Take slow breaths and focus on the feeling of being grounded
- Bilateral Tapping (“Butterfly Hug”)
- Cross your arms over your chest, placing each hand on the opposite shoulder
- Gently tap your shoulders in an alternating rhythm (left–right–left–right)
- Keep your breathing slow and steady
- Continue for 30–60 seconds or until you feel more calm
This technique uses bilateral stimulation to help calm the nervous system and increase a sense of safety.
