.3 Gender Expectations

We need to learn how to avoid extremes in our thinking. Part of these extremes are that you have the choice of being either strong or feminine. One can be both strong and feminine. Then you have the choice of being dependent or independent. People should feel that everyone should be dependent half of the time and independent the other half of the time. It is wonderful for women to have a sense of independence and for men to have a sense of dependence. Everybody needs to have a balance of both.

During times of transitions, which we are in now, where women are gaining a sense of equality and equity more so then they ever have before, we don't know how to act. We are still consumed by inconsistencies. For example, I know that one of my inconsistencies is figuring out when to open doors for people. In my generation both men and women have had more of a problem with that than your generation. In your generation, it is a much more natural thing for anyone who is near the door to open it without worrying about gender.

Uncertain expectations are another part of this transition. You never know whether the woman is expected to be feminine, or is expecting the man to be strong at any particular moment in time. Women don't know whether to respond to a man independently, or whether that's going to turn him off and make him feel that she is not feminine. These are real problems that we all deal with and confront, and we all need to cut each other some slack in terms of realizing that there will be these inconsistencies as we go along.

It is not an easy time. We have to worry about the fact that there are these pendulums that swing us back and forth. We swing from being a very dependent woman on the one end to being a burning feminist on the other end. Somewhere in between is the kind of balance that we really need. The kind of gentle balance where there is assertiveness without stridency; where there is independence without losing a sense of femininity -- a balance that doesn't require some kind of unisex overlay is what needs to be achieved in society. I would make the statement that the society as a whole has to become more feminine. Right now the society is dominated by masculine traits such as aggression and stridency. Society needs to become more gentle and nurturing, and take on some feminine characteristics. Not to become a feminine society, but to become a balanced society with both masculine and feminine traits.

	What kind of balance needs to be asserted to maintain the equilibrium between genders?	Answer Here
	Mrs. Amber is a teacher in a very accelerated Catholic high school in Virginia Beach, VA. This school is co-ed, but the private elementary and middle schools that these students attended were not co-ed. How can Mrs. Amber help her students to react to each others' expectations as well as fulfill her expectations of them?	Answer Here