.2 Interracial / Interfaith families

A legitimate biological and sociological argument can be made that we are all "mixed." We are the derivation of a variety of unions between peoples of different towns, countries, religions and often races. However, for the purposes of this article, I am referring to families where this difference is apparent within the last two or three generations, what some might call the visible minorities.

Though the various permutations can take on a myriad of combinations, there are several similarities in the issues of multiracial families that transcend the specific racial components. My area of expertise is with biological children of multiracial marriages; however, my friends whohave chosen transracial adoption, tell me there are several commonalties.

To this day I recall my sophomore history teacher "teaching" me about interracial marriages. "Mr. R" was discussing a news article that featured a picture of a young Black Naval pilot, his white wife and their toddler. The article was about the pilot's accomplishments, but "Mr. R" chose to comment on the marriage. He said, "They're adults. What they do is their business. But they have no right to do that to a child." He went on adiatribe to explain that what they had done was bring her into the world where she did not fit in and would not belong to any race.

I take from this two lessons. One - be careful what you preach; they may be listening. I do not recall that we had identified biracial students inthat class. However, racial distinctions are difficult. The "Hispanic" kid in the front row, may be Black and Caucasian. The blond in the back mayhave a Japanese grandmother. If you speak disparagingly about any group, you may discover that you had a student who unbeknownst to you was suffering in silence. Or you may just have a sensitive white student write a disparaging article about you fifteen years later.

The second lesson is this. The old stereotypes and myths do not hold up. Klansmen's daughters marrying Black Panther's sons may makeinteresting talk shows, but they're hardly the reality. Most biracial families are remarkably like every other family. Though few statistics have been gathered on multiracial families, the divorce rate appears to be no higher than that of monoracial families. The truth is multiracial children in healthy families grow to be healthy teens and adults. Adult multiracial people report an advantage of being able to "choose" the best of both cultures. Like Americans living abroad, they may see both cultures better than others.

Most often, because race is such an open part of the family dynamic, the child develops a sense of self at a younger age than his/ hercounterparts. Rarely in intact families does a child "choose" one side over another. When they do, it seems to be a temporary exploration that could be similar to how white teens may temporarily grow closer to one parent during puberty. The shift usually balances out.

It is the greater community, represented by people like "Mr. R" who, in their ignorance, suggest that one can only be one "category." The children and young adults simply are not one category. It is no different than me being a wife and a mother. No one ever suggests that I must choose between being a woman and being a teacher. I just am. Kirkegaard quipped "If you label me, you negate me." The less we worry about the labels the better off we will be. I would avoid it when possible with all your students.

On a practical note: many state and federal forms require a racial denotation. Legitimate arguments can be made for the value of such "labeling;" however, with biracial children they can often be inaccurate. The concern as an educator is to fulfill the requirements of your employer, while protecting your relationship with your student. I recommend the following: a) Never impose a race on a child. Ask them what his / her preference is. Though it may be the first time you have dealt with the issue of race, it most certainly is not theirs. Our students do not become Black and Hispanic at thirteen. They know who they are better than you do. Ask them to identify themselves as they see themselves. b) If you feel they are too young, ask their parents what they prefer on the forms. You are only teaching this child for a year. The student is theirs for life. Trust them. c) Don't ever force a child to choose if the information is tagged as optional. As a tenured teacher, I have been known to oppose mandatory classifications with school officials. However choose your battles and do what's best for your students. You must respect your students right of self-determination. Many of us are petitioning the legislators to expand their definitions. (It was only twenty years ago when there were only two categories - Black and white) In the meantime do not exacerbate a problem by becoming an unwitting accomplice. Be frank with your students and remember that they are more important than paperwork.

Finally, as a postscript, our distinguished pilot had a longer career than the history teacher. For a variety of reasons, he left teaching the following year.

	No Parrot Question
	Kristen is a student in Mrs. Stewart's fourth grade class. She is a bi-racial child and often wonders why the other children in her class look different and act differently towards her. How can Mrs. Stewart help Kristen deal with herseparate heritage and help the other students in her class to appreciate that heritage?	Answer Here