As a child, Scott Graham didn't know anything about his biological father. When he was 18, he met his father, Mark Bryan, for the first time in his adult life.

As an adult, Graham is now helping others in his situation reunite with their estranged fathers through The Father Project, a nationwide nonprofit organization he and his father created.

Graham, who transferred to Old Dominion last fall, is an undergraduate majoring in criminal justice with a minor in public law. He plans to graduate in December 2000.

When Graham's parents were only 16 and students at Kempsville High School in Virginia Beach, his father was the president of his junior class and his mother was a popular student involved in drama. Before their junior year ended, they were expecting a baby.

Their families drove them to North Carolina to get married, since they were too young to legally marry in Virginia. Two years later, when Graham was 18 months old and his parents barely 18, the marriage broke up. Bryan did not see his son again for 16 years.

Graham's mother eventually remarried, and his stepfather adopted him when he was 6.

"In the back of my mind, I remember being 6 and going through the adoption process, but my mom would never talk about it. She always changed the subject," he said.

When he was about 16, Graham remembers seeing a picture of his father for the first time. Looking through a hall closet, he said, he found his mother's high school yearbook. One of the autographs caught his attention.

"It said, 'Patty and Mark, you have a beautiful son,'" said Graham.

"I flipped to the picture, and it was like looking in a mirror. My friend who was with me said, 'No doubt that's your father.'"

Graham confronted his mother about the yearbook in an attempt to find out more about his biological father, but his mother still wouldn't tell him much.

A few days after his 18th birthday, Graham's mother and stepfather handed him a stack of a dozen or so letters - letters his father had been sending off and on since Graham was 13. After reading the letters, Graham decided he wanted to meet his father. After a phone call, Bryan was on a plane to Virginia Beach from his home in Chicago. They met for lunch and then spent the weekend together before Bryan had to return home.

"We had a good visit all weekend. What impressed me was that he pretty much told the truth. He took most of the blame," said Graham.

For the next four years, however, the two shared no real correspondence.

"There were some serious loyalty issues with Mom and Dad. I didn't know how to handle it, so I chose not to deal with it," Graham said. "You don't know what the boundaries are. It's something a lot of kids and parents have trouble with."

On his 22nd birthday, Graham called his father, who was now living in New Mexico, to renew the relationship. "I was getting married that July, and I thought he deserved to be there," he said.

The relationship was renewed, and a year later Graham and his wife moved to New Mexico, where Graham enrolled at the College of Santa Fe.

"I wanted to be closer to my father to expand our relationship," he said.

It was then that the two began work on a book titled "The Prodigal Father: Reuniting Fathers and Their Children." Bryan, already known nationally for his co-authorship of "The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity" with Julia Cameron, a self-help book and program which has sold millions worldwide, wanted to help other fathers and sons in his situation. He wanted other fathers to share the feeling of fulfillment he experienced when he finally had his son back in his life.

They conducted research for the book by interviewing families who had been or still were in similar situations. Bryan used his own memories to discuss and create "the four steps to reconciliation" that most fathers must work through before they can reunite.

Although both Bryan and Graham worked on "The Prodigal Father," a collection of stories and a step-by-step program for reuniting fathers with their children, it carries only Bryan's name as the author.

"I didn't want my name on the book, because at the time there were family issues. We had to go back and change my mother's name [in the book]; she wasn't very happy, but she's more supportive of it now," said Graham.

When the book came out in 1996, the father and son team decided they did not want to stop at simply giving suggestions and support. It was then that they created The Father Project, a nonprofit organization that walks estranged families through the process of reuniting. Bryan and Graham help their client families work through the steps they themselves went through during their own reunion process.

"We work with them individually at first. Then when they're both ready to walk that path, we set up a meeting."

Graham says many parents and children are not ready for a reunion right away. In many situations, the timing is very important. While his father works mainly with the parent, Graham works with the children.

The Father Project is usually contacted by the parent, and the children are typically the ones who oppose th idea.

One reason Bryan and Graham insist on working with the family members individually at first is to be sure there are no other larger issues involved, like alcohol or abusive relationships.

"We have to be sure the situation is right for a reunion. There are some things that need to be fixed first," said Graham.

"We correspond with fathers, mothers and children via e-mail, telephone and sometimes in person. We just share our thoughts and experiences and try to help them get in touch with their true feelings."

The Father Project has gained national attention during the past three years, including an article in People magazine in 1997 and a June 1998 episode of "Oprah."

While Bryan and Graham have worked with hundreds of families since 1996, the most fulfilling experience, according to Graham, involved the family they reunited on "Oprah."

Two teenage boys named Grant and Jason and their father, Paul, were the subject of the "Oprah" Father's Day show in 1998.

In the episode, Bryan led Paul through the process he outlined in his book, but the show ended with the boys still refusing to work toward a relationship with their father. As it turned out, the boys had agreed to travel to Chicago just for the thrill of being on "Oprah."

However, during a show in December 1998, Oprah announced that she had learned Grant and Jason were both working with their father, and that one of them was living with his father.

"They were so against any kind of reconciliation. It was good to see it all work out," said Graham.

"Except for the "Oprah" show, neither one of us is usually present for reunions because it isn't about us," Graham added. "It is about that family, those few people exploring some very heavy emotions."

The Father Project has helped heal the emotional wounds of many families, and it has helped Scott Graham heal some of his own.

"Because of the book and the work doing research and speaking to all those people, it brought me to where I could forgive [my father] for what he did, but I could never understand how he could leave a child behind.

"Then, when I went through a divorce, I could see how that could happen. I could see how the emotions of the 'adult stuff' can cloud the picture and make it seem like the child would be better off without [the parent]," he said.

Graham hopes his work with The Father Project will continue to make a difference.

"Twenty-one million children in America live without their biological father," he said. "I want to work to change that."

In fact, Graham is in the process of starting a single parent group at Old Dominion for students - and possibly faculty and staff.

Graham, who has sole custody of his two daughters, Caroline and Madison, ages 5 and 2, plans to go to law school and work toward child advocacy after he graduates from Old Dominion.