Childhood expert Katharine Kersey releases CD-ROM set for parents and teachers

By Michelle Nery

Parents and teachers now have a new and valuable resource they can use to help them in their daily interactions with children: “101s: A Guide to Positive Discipline.” The three CD-ROM set was released recently by noted parenting and childhood education expert Katharine Kersey.

Filmed over a period of three years in the Old Dominion University Child Study and Child Development centers that she directs, the “101s” is a compilation of techniques Kersey and her students developed over the last 35 years to help teachers and parents teach children respect and love. The techniques are also designed to provide nurturance, shape behavior, address misbehavior, foster independence and build resiliency.

“This really is a fun way to live,” said Kersey. “There are so few bad moments if you can think ahead and apply the techniques. It empowers the parents and helps the kids. Children need to know that their parents are in control; it’s scary for children when they are not.”

A longtime professor of early childhood education, chair of ODU’s Department of Early Childhood, Speech-Language Pathology and Special Education, and mother of three, Kersey firmly believes it is important to employ the techniques early.

“Children are born with empathy,” she said. “We see babies in the nursery who will give their own pacifier to calm another crying baby. Children can lose that empathy by age 2 or 3 if it is not modeled and reinforced.”

Kersey, who is also the author of “Sensitive Parenting,” “Helping Your Child Handle Stress,” “Don’t Take It Out on Your Kids” and “The First Year Teacher,” began making lists early in her career. In the late 1960s, she was an opponent of corporal punishment and compiled a list of 10 reasons not to spank children. It quickly grew to 30, and she shared her list at gatherings where she was invited to speak.

“After teaching for a while, one of my students said that since I offered 30 reasons not to spank, I should also offer 30 alternatives to spanking. I wasn’t even following my own teaching, to focus on the positive things the children do and not the negative. That night I made a list of 30 positive techniques which parents and teachers can use instead of punishment. My students started adding to the list and it eventually became 101!”

One of the most important “101s” is the “demonstrate respect” principle, said Kersey. “You need to ask yourself, ‘Would I want someone saying that to me?’”

In one of the first segments of the CD-ROM set, a teacher observes a student’s uncomfortable reaction to the cameras in the classroom. She demonstrates the respect principle by taking him aside to talk to him and reassure him that he is OK. In a classroom of younger children, a teacher stops reading a book to a toddler when she realizes the child is too tired to continue. The teacher begins to rock her to sleep and the child immediately quiets down.

One of Kersey’s favorite principles is “connect before you correct.” She explains, “Whenever we have a broken connection, it absorbs our time and energy. We need to remember to share positive thoughts with the person, whether it be your child, his parent or a co-worker, before attacking the problem. Always close the conversation on a positive note as well.”

Two other related principles are “catch the child being good” and “make a big deal.”

“When the child is exhibiting behavior that makes you proud, be sure to praise, thank and call attention to it. Give the child [eye contact], a thumbs-up, recognition, hugs and special privileges.”

Another important principle is the “choice” principle. “Do you want to hold my right hand or left hand when you cross the street?” Kersey cites as an example. The “incompatible alternative” principle puts a spin on the “choice” principle. Kersey relates the following illustration of a preschool student teacher’s experience. “She told the students that the play area was closed and it was time to come in. To her surprise, the children said ‘No!’ After taking a moment, she said, ‘Do you want to hop or skip back into the classroom?’ To her amazement, they chimed, ‘Hop!’”

The CD-ROM set, filmed by staff with the university’s TELETECHNET distance learning program, received positive reviews when it was presented at conferences in Chicago and Roanoke by members of the ODU Early Childhood Education Alumni Chapter. And the Head Start program is buying hundreds of the CDs to train its teachers, Kersey noted. Proceeds from CD sales go to the Child Study Center and the alumni chapter.

This fall, Kersey and TELETECHNET staff members will go to Newsome Park Elementary School in Newport News, where 11 ODU graduates currently teach, to film their use of the “101s” in the public school pre-kindergarten to grade 6 classrooms.

“We want to show you can do this with older children as well,” said Kersey. “I don’t want people to think it is only applicable to young children; it also works with spouses and co-workers.”

The three-CD-ROM set is also available in DVD and VHS formats. The “101s” can be purchased at www.dl.odu.edu/101s and in the ODU Bookstore.