By Patrick K. Lackey

Who’da thunk it? Two of the 12 finalists in a recent contest to discover the most intense, passionate beer drinker in America were a pair of slim-waisted ODU grads married to each other. They are Diane Catanzaro (Ph.D. ’92) and Chris Jones ’76 (M.S. ’82), two fun-loving spirits who live in an old Norfolk house that they bought in part because it is within walking distance of three Ghent bars with extensive stocks of quality beer. Their basement doubles as a beer cellar.

For about two decades they’ve brewed an audacious variety of their own beer. The couple has traveled to Belgium, the beer drinkers’ Mecca, to visit famed breweries, and one of their cats is named after a Belgian Trappist brewery, Chimay. Jones, an industrial hygienist for the Navy, has been president of a local home-brewers’ club multiple times.

They approach beer with the same intensity, knowledge and discrimination as a wine connoisseur approaches wine – but with more of a sense of humor and less expense. “You can drink some of the best bottles of beer in the world for the cost of a so-so bottle of wine,” said Catanzaro.

Their three-page entries in the Wynkoop Brewing Co.’s national contest for “Beerdrinker of the Year” are both impressive for their scope of beer-drinking knowledge and experience, and funny as heck. Wynkoop, incidentally, is a craft brewery (translation: small but good) in Denver. Apparently the contest judges had some appreciation for the Norfolk couple’s humorous wisdom. Catanzaro, a professor of industrial/organizational psychology at Christopher Newport University, wrote in her entry: “Everything I’ve learned in life I’ve learned through beer. Sharing. Sharing beer creates a social communion that strengthens the bonds of friendship and community. Or at least makes us forget what we argued about.”

Jones wrote in his entry of his undergraduate days at ODU: “I rarely missed a Wednesday or Thursday night happy hour. I drank primarily taste-challenged pilsner lagers, and I discovered that beer went well with food (particularly such gourmet items as pistachios, pizza, burgers and Fritos), and can dramatically improve your foosball game.”

On a typical night out, Catanzaro might drink two or three beers while Jones downs three or four. “The point,” he said, “is to enjoy beer with food, not just to get wasted.” They don’t drink beer from a bottle – it stifles the aroma – and they prefer no beer over bad beer.

As for the slim waists, she works out religiously at a nearby YMCA; he is an avid walker. Catanzaro said she is considering developing a beer diet for women.

Jones concluded his contest entry by saying, “If you are what you eat, and by analogy, are what you drink, then I am beer.”

Neither won this year’s contest, but they’ll try again and again, as they get more beer-drinking experience under their belts.